Shooting Lawyers in a Barrel

Harry Whittington is the first person Chaney ever shot by accident.

The Daily Show suggested that Chaney didn't take a hunting safety course because he received a series of deferrments.

Anyway calling the activity in question "hunting" is a bit of a stretch.

In 2003 Chaney when pheasant killing in Pennsylvania, but he didn't have to waste time hunting downt he little fellas. Upon his arrival gamekeepers released 500 pen-raised pheasants from nets for the benefit of him and his party, of which at least 417 where killed. Cheney chalked up about 70 of the birds.

Sporty!

Things that Make You Go.....What the....?

As opponents of the Bush administration go, I am pretty skeptical of many of the claims about them. I don't think we went into Iraq for oil. I don't think that the ties to Halliburton are a reason for the waste and abuse in the rebuilding. I didn't believe that the partial privatization of Social Security or the private nature of the Medicare drug program were intended to benefit industry.

But then you see this, and you gotta wonder.

The Interior Department's just-published budget plan, will let companies pump about $65 billion worth of oil and natural gas from federal territory over the next five years without paying any royalties to the government. Based on the administration figures, the government will give up more than $7 billion in payments between now and 2011.

I mean, its not like we could use the $7 billion.

OK, a Real, Honest Joke

An orthodox rabbi walks into a bar is in full regalia. Black coat, black hat, beard.

He's got a parrot on his shoulder. The parrot is huge. Red, yellow, and blue. Lovely plumage.

The barkeep stares for a moment and says "Wow, he is really amazing. Where did you get him?"

after a pause the parrot replies "Brooklyn, there are a million of them all over the place.

Inappropriate Fantasy

OK, time to expose my darker side.

I've occasional thought about renting a car for a week , putting it up on jack stand, pulling the wheels off, and setting the cruise control speed to - oh say - 140mph. After a week the odometer would have logged a good 20k plus miles. I figure it would get really good mileage given the lack of wind or rolling resistance. You have to figure that the clerk would be surprised when the car was returned.

All German Shepherds are Male

Over the past 15 years I have owned 3 GSDs (German Shepherd DOGs - only breed to have dog in the offician name) and have fostered another half-dozen or so. In all that time no one has ever asked "what's her name?" Regardless of the dog's gender, it has always been "Whats his name?" I wonder if this is reversed for more "feminine" dogs like poodles or cocker spaniels.

An interesting side-note. A female dog is referred to as a bitch. A male dog is a dog. So, and I am not kidding, people in the show world will refer to a female dog that looks somewhat masculine (think Bea Arthur) as a "doggy bitch." I have not seen the opposite (a bitchy dog) but I'm sure its out there.

White Guy Olympics

Isn't it nice that they have reserved a whole Olympic for white (ok, and Asian) people?

I think its time to ban all sports with a: costumes b: highly subjective judging c: differences that are so imperceptible that an ordinary person can't tell the difference.

I can relate to speed skating. Whoever is faster wins. I'm not saying that figure skaters aren't terribly talented athletes, but the scoring leaves me limp. And don't get me started on Ice Dancing.

Rock, Paper, Scissors, Dynamite

While the Moslem world freaks out over a bunch of cartoons, some of which were actually published in a Danish newspaper, lets not forget that the Taliban blew up ancient statues of the Buddah. Nary a word of condemnation from the Islamic world.

As I would have said as an eight year old - Takes One to Know One!

12 Step Program.

Since the President has told us that we are addicted to oil (foreign or otherwise,) lets take a quick look at how we are using that oil. Sound like we are going the wrong direction? Wondering what is the cause? One word. Horsepower.

At the latest auto show there were 18 models with over 500 horsepower. These machines not only suck up gas, but are deeply antisocial. This kind of power is useful only for street racing.

But it is not the proliferation of supercars that are the issue. Check this out - in 1975, before the first oil crisis, new cars in the US averaged 136 horsepower. In 1982 this number had dropped to 99 as car makers worked to raise fuel economy. By 2004 the average had jumped to 210 HP.

While environmentalists focus on SUVs, the real problem is that midsized cars now routinely have 250 HP or more. My 1973 BMW 2002 was the progenitor of modern sports sedans, and it made a respectable 130 HP. My 1980 BMW 320i made perhaps 150 HP and was the archetypical reasonable performance sedan of its day. Both of these cars got well over 30 MPG on the highway. Now we see cars like the Mazda 6 has 215 HP and gets mileage in the low 20s and the Nissan Altima has 250 HP and gets even worse mileage.

We could save a lot of fuel by just dialing back these silly levels of horsepower.