If I Had a Hammer

Or rather, if I was a web programmer....

I'd build a Barry Bonds Schneid Counter (BBSC.) The BBSC would track the start of the great melon headed one's 2006 campaign for the record books. But rather than counting dingers, it would count games and at bats until he hits one out. Its looking like no juice means no juice. As of today he has played in 13 games of 16 games, has a batting average about 40 pounds under his weight, and has appeared at the plate just shy of 50 times (including walks.) All without a single dinger.

The tracker would have him continue to shrink physically from his pumped up slugger self, back to his lithe youthful self as the 'roid metabolites drip out of his toes.

So here you have it - Baby Barry, Bulky Barry and Bobble Barry.